Reply to Re: I don't know what to do
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Okay, here it to goes. Back when I was oh... 18-ish, I was in a somewhat similar position emotionally and had a real crap homelife (I suffer from CPTSD and dissociation).
With not a lot of other skills aside from some game-dev and having these yet undiagnosed conditions, I joined the team of a now-defunct fangame. I did some coding and a bit of writing, I bonded with a few people there, including a girl I fell in love with. Connection was the one thing that my whole being could actually desire and be motivated to reach for. Thankfully, she eventually returned my feelings and though the relationship ultimately didn't work out, the adventures I went on to try and make that work helped me grow leaps and bounds beyond the person I was.
The strength I gained from that experience and the internal pain I still had drove me to travel to another far-away city I always wanted to live in with just a backpack. There, I found a job that I enjoyed, in a place I liked.
But I was still lonely...
So I moved to yet another city that called to me, this time with a car and a contact, but under worse economic climate. I knew that to survive, I would have to throw myself into the social scenes I thought would work for me. It did and eventually, I thrived with new friends in a new home.
My path is not something I'd recommend to everyone, but if you feel like you have nothing to lose, you might as well go on a grand adventure... because once it's all over, you can't go back and try it.
With not a lot of other skills aside from some game-dev and having these yet undiagnosed conditions, I joined the team of a now-defunct fangame. I did some coding and a bit of writing, I bonded with a few people there, including a girl I fell in love with. Connection was the one thing that my whole being could actually desire and be motivated to reach for. Thankfully, she eventually returned my feelings and though the relationship ultimately didn't work out, the adventures I went on to try and make that work helped me grow leaps and bounds beyond the person I was.
The strength I gained from that experience and the internal pain I still had drove me to travel to another far-away city I always wanted to live in with just a backpack. There, I found a job that I enjoyed, in a place I liked.
But I was still lonely...
So I moved to yet another city that called to me, this time with a car and a contact, but under worse economic climate. I knew that to survive, I would have to throw myself into the social scenes I thought would work for me. It did and eventually, I thrived with new friends in a new home.
My path is not something I'd recommend to everyone, but if you feel like you have nothing to lose, you might as well go on a grand adventure... because once it's all over, you can't go back and try it.
