Bill & Kill 1: *SIGH*
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- Author(s): Jameil
- Categories: D-Mod, Romp
- Downloads: 259
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... Sigh... The D-Mod's title says it all... This is truly an appallingly awful D-Mod.
PEOPLE:
I am willing to bet that you cannot finish this D-Mod in 543 tries, or even 1000 (well perhaps, but if you have actually played this D-Mod more than 500 times you really should rethink your life and realize how much of your life you have wasted playing a terrible D-Mod... though if you are the type that is willing to play this D-Mod that much, then chances are you have never read reviews and you are never discouraged by a bad score, so by all means, play this D-Mod until you die of whateverthehellitisthatisgoingtokillyoueventually: its akin to suicide, just takes 70+ years to pull off)
The truth is you CANNOT even beat the first screen of enemies without god-moding or script rewrites, the knights are just that strong, and a level 1 Dink cannot kill even one of them (plus you die in ONE hit)
That being said, here we go:
***STORY***
Did it even have a story? Yes, but the entire story element is contained in a prologue on the splash screen, which is only up for about a second... unless you are the world's fastest reader ever or you bother to look through the D-Mod folder, you will probably never peruse it words of "wisdom". Not that your missing much, because all it says is that a pirate bonca (only cool thing in this D-Mod, arrrgh) steals some gold and now YOU are going to steal the gold from the BONCA. And of course what better way to steal someones treasure than to single-handedly cut your way through an army of knights and a bonca boss, right? It's not even in good English, but be happy, at least there was a story... It also appears like the author tried to make multiple endings including one where you are killed by some sort of demonic avatar... but you won't even know about these unless you look at the scripts...
***1.5***
***GAMEPLAY***
As I explained earlier, I do not think it is possible to get past the first knights you see without tampering around. The fact that there are 24 screens of them doesn't help the situation at all. Also, these screens are crammed with literally hundreds of them (A piece of random trivia: you will reach level 13 by the end of the game THATS how many knights there are!!). The worst part is that there is nothing good to offer you for your efforts to rig the D-Mod so that you can actually win either, just a whole bunch of knights and a bonca which you don't even get to battle. The only element of *fun* here is how many corpses you can fill a screen up with.
***0.5***
***MAP***
It is not so bad as it is boring. There is not a decorative sprite in sight... unless you count the useless savebots. Also there is alot of the mismatched grass tile which speaks both of laziness and low-grade D-Mods. The good thing is that there is no wandering around forever to try and find the monsters, in this aspect the map is actually quite an improvement over those in many other bad D-Mods.
***1.0***
FINAL SCORE: 1.0
*SIGH*... Do not download this D-Mod unless there is nothing else that you can do... YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
Also, I must add that you should not download this D-Mod if you are trying to find BAD D-Mods, as this is more of an unwinnable and boring D-Mod, it lacks any stupendously dumb scripting errors, dumb story elements necessary to the game, or just outright awfulness: it is not even a close canidate for the worst D-Mod. STAY AWAY! The only good thing about this D-Mod is its title.
PEOPLE:
I am willing to bet that you cannot finish this D-Mod in 543 tries, or even 1000 (well perhaps, but if you have actually played this D-Mod more than 500 times you really should rethink your life and realize how much of your life you have wasted playing a terrible D-Mod... though if you are the type that is willing to play this D-Mod that much, then chances are you have never read reviews and you are never discouraged by a bad score, so by all means, play this D-Mod until you die of whateverthehellitisthatisgoingtokillyoueventually: its akin to suicide, just takes 70+ years to pull off)
The truth is you CANNOT even beat the first screen of enemies without god-moding or script rewrites, the knights are just that strong, and a level 1 Dink cannot kill even one of them (plus you die in ONE hit)
That being said, here we go:
***STORY***
Did it even have a story? Yes, but the entire story element is contained in a prologue on the splash screen, which is only up for about a second... unless you are the world's fastest reader ever or you bother to look through the D-Mod folder, you will probably never peruse it words of "wisdom". Not that your missing much, because all it says is that a pirate bonca (only cool thing in this D-Mod, arrrgh) steals some gold and now YOU are going to steal the gold from the BONCA. And of course what better way to steal someones treasure than to single-handedly cut your way through an army of knights and a bonca boss, right? It's not even in good English, but be happy, at least there was a story... It also appears like the author tried to make multiple endings including one where you are killed by some sort of demonic avatar... but you won't even know about these unless you look at the scripts...
***1.5***
***GAMEPLAY***
As I explained earlier, I do not think it is possible to get past the first knights you see without tampering around. The fact that there are 24 screens of them doesn't help the situation at all. Also, these screens are crammed with literally hundreds of them (A piece of random trivia: you will reach level 13 by the end of the game THATS how many knights there are!!). The worst part is that there is nothing good to offer you for your efforts to rig the D-Mod so that you can actually win either, just a whole bunch of knights and a bonca which you don't even get to battle. The only element of *fun* here is how many corpses you can fill a screen up with.
***0.5***
***MAP***
It is not so bad as it is boring. There is not a decorative sprite in sight... unless you count the useless savebots. Also there is alot of the mismatched grass tile which speaks both of laziness and low-grade D-Mods. The good thing is that there is no wandering around forever to try and find the monsters, in this aspect the map is actually quite an improvement over those in many other bad D-Mods.
***1.0***
FINAL SCORE: 1.0
*SIGH*... Do not download this D-Mod unless there is nothing else that you can do... YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
Also, I must add that you should not download this D-Mod if you are trying to find BAD D-Mods, as this is more of an unwinnable and boring D-Mod, it lacks any stupendously dumb scripting errors, dumb story elements necessary to the game, or just outright awfulness: it is not even a close canidate for the worst D-Mod. STAY AWAY! The only good thing about this D-Mod is its title.
